Hey Edward, you sound really depressed. I can only offer advice as a mum and someone who loves maths, but isn't a mathematician. If one of my sons were this depressed about a subject, I would strongly advise him to look for other subjects to study. If he was really determined, and I could afford it, I would hire a private tutor for him. Maybe your parents could do this?

If you are so depressed with maths, why do you want to be an astrophysicist, a career which requires not only maths, but possibly a PhD in physics or something similar. You say you want to love maths, not that you love it. Is the astrophysics thing your own ambition or are other people perhaps pushing you towards it? If your school offers counselling and/or careers advice I would strongly advise you to talk to the appropriate person.