Search


 

 

Read This

Childcare Provider Safety is More Than Childproofing
You have plugs in all your outlets, locks on all your cabinets, and have crawled the floor looking for any dangerous items within reach of a toddler. Your home may be safe for children, but there are other steps you should consider to plan for...

Teen Advice On-line
There is no doubt about it. We are an electronic society. From our cable television sets to our satellite radios, our cell phones to our beepers, our global positioning devices to our palm pilots, and of course the world wide web – we are a...

Certification = Quality?
Every night after teaching at Bethel High School in Hampton, Charles Barhite sifted through hours of videotape of his history classes, looking for a 20-minute stretch of film that showed he could be a nationally certified teacher.

 
Google
Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child



"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Whether parent or teacher, we have all "been there" and "done that" with a child exhibiting refusal behaviors. Before "losing your cool" and your power as well, interventions and strategies are provided for use to help deescalate this classic power struggle.


-Avoid placing yourself in a stand-off situation with the child.

-Don’t “mark a line in the sand” unless prepared to follow through with the consequences on your own. Creating a demand situation….“You will sit in your seat or I will call someone to seat you”….will cause the authority figure to lose his/her power. This is a main goal of oppositional children…personal control over their environment.

-Under a demand situation, especially with authority figures, an oppositional child will be more likely to escalate to extreme opposition. Stop talking. Give the child a chance to detach from the situation with some power. Problem-solving the situation when
both parties are calm will prove more productive.

-Phrase requests which are more likely to bring an oppositional response with a negative statement…”I don’t expect you would want to….” Or


“You probably wouldn’t want to…..”

-Create a situation where it is more worth the child’s while to be part of.

-Use distraction.

-Give choices which give the student some control.

-Give the student a specific leadership role during stressful transitions, such as day

care dismissal. Monitoring younger children for appropriate dismissal behavior, such as sitting quietly, would be an example of a specific leadership role.

These children can be extremely challenging. Should a pattern of continuing emotionality become evident, additional advice from professionals, such as the child's pediatrician or a school guidance counselor, would be recommended in order to develop a
positive behavior support system to help ensure behavioral success.


About the Author



Sheree S. Marty has worked with elementary school children as a school counselor for the past nine years. A physical education teacher for thirteen years, Ms. Marty earned her Master degree in Counseling in 2000. Ms. Marty is the author and owner of "Chinese Jump Rope", a childrens games book and website. For more information, visit http://chinesejumprope.tripod.com